One Flare to Rule Them All


Mushroom cloud laying motherfucker, motherfucker

So: having forever changed the skateboard video as we know it (well sort of), Lakai, possibly drunk on Mariano footage and its own hubris, will try its hand at redefining the limited edition cash-in DVD with the Final Flare box set, for which they have prepared a new podcast trailer thing. And let me tell you, as much as I’m looking forward to Marc Johnson’s musings on the existential trials of filming a 12-minute video part, I most likely will indeed shuffle off to the skateboard store with a heavy sigh and a twinge of guilt and plonk down my $59 or whatever.

Let’s be serious, I don’t have that kind of folding money in the best of times, and bear in mind we’re dealing with a bona fide recession now, according to at least one USDA official. What I’m saying is, this means something.

Allegedly the box set will include three discs, a photo booklet, photo gallery (!), blah blah. More to the point: alternate edits (read: less ramped slow-mo and “lifestyle” clips between each line), the making-of documentary (which will be interesting in an On Video sort of way [read: watch once]), and the goddamn bonus footage that everybody’s been waiting on since the premiere. Because I had this sneaking suspicion that some of the bazillion tricks that didn’t make it into the video were in fact landed. (Jesus’s trick in the preview is ba-fucking-nanas.)

All cheap-shot snarks aside, I think Lakai played this pretty smart actually. They kept a lot of the tricks that were already in magazines out of the official video, so it had some surprises, but they knew people would want to see that shit eventually. I do feel where the pros are coming from, talking about the whole anticipation/hype around the video (although MJ sounded a little melodramatic), so the making-of ought to be at least kind of interesting. And a Blu-Ray DVD will be cool when I get around to buying a hot PS3 off a greasy, mustachioed guy at the flea market. Some day…

Also I’m assuming they’re going to hold on to all the original music. If Mannie Fresh gets pulled, I’m demanding my $59 back.

Of course the ultimate reason why it’s tough to hold the limited edition cash-in against Lakai is that videos don’t sell for shit nowadays*, so how are you gonna blame them for trying to recoup on all that airfare to China. Those four-hour “massages” ain’t free you know, especially with the dollar as weak as it is. Not to mention the fact that the vast majority of skateboarders now live an unthinkable distance from major urban areas where one can even buy skateboard videos, at least according to the “Ride the Sky” topic on Slap. Hey, they’d buy it if they could. It’s tough all over, people.

*with the exception of “Fully Flared”

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6 Responses to “One Flare to Rule Them All”

  1. Mike Says:

    Watched the trailer. Looks awesome, and I thought Koston’s new trick was just mind fucking and melting. But. But, I feel like it’s only a show up at the shop and force them to let you watch the whole thing and then go, “Oh Cool,” and then I spend the $59.99 saved by not buying the video on weed, pussy, and more money. Cha know?

  2. paulo Says:

    well said.

    i will look forward the bootleg copy when it shows up.

  3. Bil Says:

    Seriously? $59.99? Lakai can go fuck them selves.

  4. boil the ocean Says:

    Fully disclosing, I made up the $59.99 figure from my brain.

  5. ** Says:

    pm plz

    in all seriousness, if my dad gets a blu-ray player I will buy this and go over there and watch it. What the fuck. It’s the last “great” skate video of my whole entire lifetime.
    At least until the new choc. vid…

  6. ** Says:

    the making-of documentary (which will be interesting in an On Video sort of way [read: watch once])

    that’s harsh bro…most of the “behind the music” On Video segments are rewatchable…especially the LOVE one. I could watch that shit all day.
    Then again, I have probably seen the Ratt “Behind the Music” at least 10 times, so what do I know?

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