Boil the Ocean Invites You To Be Witty on the Internet


Doctor Octopus: “You’ve spoiled my plans for the last time!”

Caption contest in the comments for this pic of a fully flaring Adelmo Jr., which I have been meaning to post for some time now, but words just fail me. Depending on the quantity/quality of responses we may do this again sometime so don’t go and fuck it up for everybody.

On a related note I fucked up and accidentally deleted a bunch of the most recent comments in a spam-related snafu – sorry bros.

Update: “mary jane” wins by way of multiple entries and judicious editing. TK is runner-up for literary flare.

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43 Responses to “Boil the Ocean Invites You To Be Witty on the Internet”

  1. Watson Says:

    “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Delmthulhu Zion wgah’nagl fhtagn.

    In his land of Zion dead, Delmthulhu waits switch heeling.”

    Pretty sure that’s unbeatable, but bring it on fuckers.

  2. villa Says:

    Adelmo, its called a hair tie, i can’t even look at this photo anymore

  3. truman capote Says:

    New for 2009: The same shitty hair and shoe styling from Adlemo Jr.

  4. cluglife Says:

    dirty hippy attacked by octopus.

  5. Zack Says:

    WOODWARD: We just don’t give a fuck anymore.

  6. gjhgkjkg Says:

    adelmo jr tentacleraping himself

  7. spngg Says:

    Have a hair cut, get a wash and drop the “Jr” for christs sake.

  8. holger von K Says:

    Hey, here’s my caption for this incredible photo:

    I’ve always been cruel to people wearing rasta-style hats that look like they’re some kind of miniature, insect-version of Noah’s Arche. In fact, those beanies are doing an incredible job by saving us from seeing the cruelties underneath. Hey, if this is the organic version of a switch bs heelflip, I prefer a genetically modified supersize-meal straight from SPRINGFIELD, courtesy of Mr. Burns. And speaking of food, and mentioning the word “picnic”, I can only say: “No, thank you very much, Mr. Woodward.”

  9. Sean Says:

    Someone please draw up a graph detailing the inverse correlation of dread size > picnic tabl.

  10. Captionator Says:

    Remember PJ switch bs heelflipping in Really Sorry? Like a plastical surgeon with a scalpel under his feet. This is him after having been abducted by aliens.

  11. Holger von K Says:

    Is this what you learn at Digital Photography Camp at Woodward? Pasting in ridiculous rastas and making them look real?

  12. Take a caption leave a caption Says:

    Remember when there was no individuality in skateboarding and everyone looked like Guy Mariano? Yes, fuck individuality

  13. Adelmo Says:

    Adelmo Jr. flipping clean like a razor-blade … or is this what you call a Freudian lapse?

  14. TK Says:

    From Wikipedia:

    The Kraken legend may actually have originated from sightings of real Adelmo Jr’s that are variously estimated to grow to 13–15 metres (40–50 feet) in length, including the dreadlocks.[2][3] These creatures normally live at great depths, but have been sighted at the surface and reportedly have “switch heeled” picnic tables.

  15. Alflood Says:

    Don LaFotaine: In a world of Bam-o-grams and mall grabs, The Predator attempts to administer the final deathblow to his nemesis Aesthetic in this summer’s Action-Sports Blockbuster. “Pinic-Table Vs. Predator”.

    Supporting Cast: Andymac, Lime-green Monter Energy Font, and introducing Mini-predator: Sal Masakela.

  16. TMA Says:

    Aw shit, Tickle-Me-Medusa turned lil Billy from camp 15 to stone. Someone call Perseus.

  17. Sean Says:

    Woodward, land of the setting pro.

  18. Jolin Says:

    from the deadly seven seas: rasta octopus, switch tentacle flip.

  19. pennyleslie Says:

    “Predator versus picnic table”

  20. Adel-Mike Mo Says:

    John Steinbeck: Of Lice and Men.
    Chapter One: Adelmo, the huge man with large eyes and a bulk of hair Switch Heelflips over a tiny picnic table somwhere in the woods. His friend George cautions him that this hairy maneuver isn’t good, and the advice is necessary, since his friend is retarded.

  21. Adel-Mike Mo Says:

    Some tipps for people who want to popularize their switch flip-tricks-over-picnic-table-photos:

    - do this trick like Keenan and become a martyr
    - If you can’t (I guess), then with Koston-esque flavor and become a legend
    - if you can’t: at least make it look flawless, like P-Rod and become a rich robot
    - if you can’t: at least land it every fucking time and go to hell.
    - if you can’t: just let it go, like you should.
    - if you can’t: grow your hair ridiculously long and decapitated on BOIL THE OCEAN.

  22. Captain planet Says:

    Adelmo Jr: Your hairs getting fucking ridiculous.

  23. LBJ Says:

    In an older interview I think he said that he would cut off his pinky before he cut off his dreads.
    Also… no caption needed.

  24. TK Says:

    This is a stretch but

    “Between Scylla and Adelmo Jr.”

  25. art hellman Says:

    real life quote from some young kids in Brooklyn
    kid 1 “c’mon. ollie up and kickflip off.”
    kid 2 “I would…if I had my helmet.”
    kid 1 *gives look that says, “you’re right, my bad”*

  26. Micky Says:

    WTF like OMG is LMFAO is that really his hair.

  27. Warren Says:

    Veeeennooomm!!

  28. Kepner Says:

    “Here Adelmo Jr is immortalized on film tricking over a skater-type bench moments before being swallowed whole by a net flung from the mess hall’s porch”

    photo: timmy c. from wichita falls, TX

  29. Rocuronium Says:

    Above: Camp Counselor and Skateboarding Professional Andelmo Jr. is also the Woodward insectarium keeper. He will introduce your child to our herds of frisky crab-lice, scabies, ringworms, tics, pinworms, dustmites, and follicle fleas.

  30. kepner Says:

    also, watson, your caption rules.

  31. Watson wins. Says:

    Watson wins.

  32. mary jane Says:

    [as Spider-Man tries to draw power away from the shield around Doctor Octopus]
    Doctor Octopus: You will never destroy me!

    [a force field appears around Doctor Octopus]
    Doctor Octopus: You will never get past my barrier, Spider-Man!
    Spider-Man: He’s right! I need to find some way to draw power away from his shield!

    [after his barrier goes back up, Doctor Octopus is dropped back down to the ground and attacks with his tentacles]
    Doctor Octopus: Stand still, little bug!

    [after his barrier goes back up, Doctor Octopus is dropped back down to the ground and attacks with his tentacles]
    Doctor Octopus: You’ve spoiled my plans for the last time!

    [after his barrier goes back up, Doctor Octopus is dropped back down to the ground and attacks with his tentacles]
    Doctor Octopus: Still the naive little Spider!

    [after his barrier goes back up, Doctor Octopus is dropped back down to the ground and attacks with his tentacles]
    Doctor Octopus: How *dare* you – ruin my *plan* – to take over the WORLD?

  33. KupoBarrel Says:

    I told myself I wasn’t gonna ROFL today, but maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

  34. LarryDavid Says:

    switch wook flip brah, only the choice nugs

  35. e. Says:

    New for 2009,
    the Woodward Circus presents:
    The dreadlocks that grew a human being.

  36. NS Says:

    What is that helmet really protecting?

  37. Tim Says:

    Cut your fucking hair.

  38. mary jane Says:

    pretty psyched on the victory

  39. erica latina Says:

    so dude has wierd/funny hair and looks all medusa-ish, who gives a damn?…why spread the hate? his dreads don’t matter, he’s a skater that’s come up from third world conditions, recognize! it’s not like he’s sold out a la shecks, or become a total douche a la wenning or a has been squeezing the last drop of juice that was once there a la felix. there’s a whole line up of skater dudes hurting the sport that need a shine lit on they assess. adelmo is jus’ some rasta homie from brazil, wtf?

  40. Watson Says:

    A la WHATEVER!!!

  41. hehe Says:

    tickle me adelmo

  42. Holy City Crew Says:

    For those of you worried about a kin-pin bolt falling off mid-flip, let me introduce you to the newest fear: The Truck-detangler. Adelmo with a Gregory Issacs Flip.

  43. Pypeteessusly Says:

    FANTASTIC!

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