The Golden Raspberry


Speak softly and carry a big stick

One of my enduring favorite skate magazine features is the annual T-Eddy Awards in the Thrasher SOTY issue, that yearly hodgepodge of good-natured shit talking, cheap shots, cheaper puns and legitimate kudos that generally makes up the most gloriously yellow of skateboard journalism. They poke fun at Markovitch a lot. This year’s edition lauds the sort-of predictable (Battle at the Berrics, Austin TX, Lizard King), the perhaps less so (Everen Stallion, Matt Beach, Carroll’s fruity scarf) and includes a handful of the delicious zingers that the internet peanut gallery holds so dear. My favorite: SKATE MOSS – Dylan Rieder.

So, a few favorites from past years (don’t ask what happened to 2005)… it’s interesting, looking at ten years of these things in quick succession, you can track the progression of some dudes’ careers and almost pinpoint when certain names lost their spark and became smoldering joke-butts, or when some little kid started being taken serious. Or, as in the case of JR Blastoff: little kid, taken serious, and then in 2009… BABY TALK – Jereme Rogers.

2008:
MUPPET ENVY
Figgy and Furby

MANOREXIC
Ragdoll

2007:
STILL WAITING
Fully Flared

STEVIE RAY GONE
Bastien Salabanzi

WELCOME TO THE DOLLHOUSE
Gio Reda

2006:
BEEN THERE, RODE FOR THAT
Kris Markovich

BUTTER FACE
Hubba Girls

2006:
THAT JOKE ISN’T FUNNY ANYMORE
Nate Sherwood

2004:
BAKER FAKER
Hellrose

SKATE OR DIANETICS
Jim Greco

ANTHONY OGLESBY
Anthony Mosely

GONE PHISHIN’
Rasa Libre

2003:
JUST FRIENDS
Jerry and Louie

SPUD WEBB
Brandon Biebel

BERT AND ERNIE
Ramondetta and Torres

2002:
SHOP VID SHOCKER
PJ Ladd’s Wonderful Horrible Life

TOUR VIDEO RECIPE
Fireworks, strippers, bunk skating, hotel alarms, security morons

2001:
CEASE AND DILLSIST
Steffan Attardo

CHOMP CHAMP
Gabe Morford

CHOMP CHUMP
Pat Canale

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5 Responses to “The Golden Raspberry”

  1. Old School Sammy Says:

    Seems like a lot of Grandpa Phelpers Disses in that section every year are more media based. He does nail it one or two times a year, but it’s more hateful than helpful it seems. Someday I also want to grow up to be a hater like him, except I am probably older than him, and know way more than he does about anything except SF skate scenes…

  2. yepwhocares Says:

    How would a fruity scarf be defined?

  3. ersatz Says:

    Bandwidth Exceeded.
    Upgrade to Pro today :)

  4. mdspb Says:

    @ Old School Sammy:
    Are you pushing 50? ‘Cause Phelps is old as dirt.
    jus’ sayin’.

  5. Watson Says:

    Poor Canale. Ty is so vindictive.

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