Lizard King Is Probably the T-Pain of Skateboarding


Not Lizard King or T-Pain, or even Billy Gibbons

Back in 2001, when George Bush Jr’s ratings rode high in the saddle, pro deck sales were still on the upswing and PJ Ladd was wrapping up a game-altering East Coast shop video part, plucky softgoods concern Planet Earth released the largely overlooked “F.O.R.E. and Friends,” a city-hopping video that brought together the likes of Kenny Anderson, Felix and a young Terry Kennedy to celebrate the rising star of Forrest Kirby, who at the time occupied a place in skateboarding where he basically was like everybody’s lovable little brother. Whether donning a doo-rag or skidding banger noseblunts, FORE was down with everybody and stood poised to take his place amongst top-ranked professional athletes everywhere, before stepping back to attend CCD and pen Christian memoirs.

As you can imagine we live in less innocent times nowadays. Usama bin Laden remains at large; 50 Cent is having problems selling CDs of his music and snitches roam the streets. Yet some things are not so different. Dustin Dollin remains a glorious mess for instance. Varial kickflips are still better left alone unless you are Brian Anderson. Whereas we once had Nate Dogg, we now obey the robot voice of Teddy Pendergrass, and while skateboarding once ruffled the hair of a towheaded kid from San Antonio, in 2009 everyone wants to be down with the Satan worshippin’, razorblade abusin’, crazy-eyed rail/gap/other killa Mike Plumb.

And just as T-Pain took the stage at the Grammy awards and beseeched award-winning artists everywhere to hit him on the hip for collaborative art pursuits, Lizard King seems eager to get down with anyone and everyone possible — his journey from a one-foot backside lipsliding amateur contest oddity sponsored by Think has brought him into the house of Reynolds, and more recently he’s spreading the endorsement love amongst entities including but not limited to Jake Brown and Sean Sheffey’s not-sure-if-it’s-real-or-not clothing venture “Laced” and, ah, DC Shoes? Lizard King’s three-ring circus is such that I’m not sure what to believe anymore, what is true and what is just bleary-eyed delusion.

Other traits shared with T-Pain: a nonsensical nickname, a penchant for outlandish behavior that might be really annoying in other people, a proficiency at getting laid despite goonish looks (I’m assuming), and they’re both friends with people who have tattoos on their face.

A healthy work ethic and the big-tent approach has worked for T-Pain, just as it has served Lizard King well. And despite the media ubiquity of both it’s hard not to root for them. They are too tirelessly and exuberantly weird to root against, neither seems to take hisself too serious, and for the most part it wouldn’t do any good anyway. In closing, if Mike Plumb contributes an autotune hook to a JR rap song you all owe me $1000.

*who had yet to learn bluntslides from Stevie Williams

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14 Responses to “Lizard King Is Probably the T-Pain of Skateboarding”

  1. Daogen Says:

    Wow. That was pretty deep ..I think. Wait, what?

  2. nmfa Says:

    F.O.R.E. and friends gives me second hand embarrassment

  3. Justin Says:

    I believe F.O.R.E. & Friends used Bruce Springsteen’s “Glory Days” in the soundtrack somewhere. That damn near makes it one of the worst videos ever made. I’m not watching it again to verify that either, although I do still own a copy.

  4. Paul Says:

    I wonder if Lizard King has fucked a mermaid?

  5. ace Says:

    Lizard King used to snowboard….does that make him a lovable (if overlooked by ESPN) Shaun White?

  6. Kepner Says:

    I thought fore and friends was sick. me and my crew watched it all the time.

    it even inspired us to make our own local video called “Fellatio and Friends”

    Fellatio was a younger kid who was good at skateboarding but real weird at the same time. He gave himself the nickname “Fellatio” for some reason, I dont’ think he was aware of it’s meaning. He also had an identical twin bro that was a rollerblader.

    Ahhh Fellatio and Friends, great times, mediocre video. Thanks for the memories Boil.

  7. barney Says:

    i’m team payne/ima build u a ramp

  8. Daily News About Michael Crichton : A few links about Michael Crichton - Wednesday, 13 May 2009 14:46 Says:

    [...] Lizard King Is Probably the T-Pain of Skateboarding [...]

  9. mdspb Says:

    Fellatio and Friends is a great video (3 cheers for the Friedmans!).
    And Glory Days is a great song, but would be better served for a grizzled old vet-type’s part.

  10. hoen Says:

    genius. have you ever seen the two together(lizard and T?) Maybe they are…the same person?

  11. nah! Says:

    mmmm….. btw can you tell us what you think of the proof video?

    cause damn I hated the edition and the music

  12. G$$ Says:

    The bet for Plumb to do a hook JR was dope.
    His is an out of control PBR spitting fool and as such we should love him.
    Until he reps a rim company some gay hat brand or raps then he is a kook and we should all rise up and sock him like Rowley did.

  13. Watson Says:

    Dude, so stoked you hate varial flips. Those things are fucking terrible.

    When I was briefly living in LA, we didn’t have any TV channels, and only owned two skate videos: FORE And Friends, and Baker 2G. I love both those videos.

    FORE And Friends included the best dude jumping off a garage since Bobcat’s appearance in the 60/40 411 ad.

    “That’s my dog right there, buddy yeah.”

  14. 4e Says:

    nice summary of my life, and road to stardumb..
    or lack there of.
    i think everyone needs direction in life.
    even if it is to give an irrelevent opinion on things u know nothing about.
    ur vehicle to diss ccd.
    btw. it was called rcai look into it. sounds like u need to stop hating on other peoples spiritaulity, and find some for yourself.
    in your brief synopsis of my stepping back. which u r terribly wrong.
    maybe u thought i would be like some top ranked pro? and wasnt?
    whatever the case, i seem to be content with the results.
    do i do what i do 4 u? no i dont. do i need to blast someone because i have nothing else to offer? do u? looks like the case.
    keep plaguing people with your useless words. hope the internet life works out for u.

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