Kill Yo Self


Third time’s the charge

If the rumors are true then I guess this weekend may go down as skateboarding’s parting barrage at SF’s Wallenberg Alternative High School, as officials stand poised to expand the Bulldogs’ kennels down the hallowed four-step, and dash the dreams of gap-minded amateur skateboarders (and razor scooterers, for what it’s worth). Trailblazers Gonz, Bucchieri, Gerwer and Manfre have secured spots in whatever history books keep track of this stuff, and in the end Chris Cole will probably be remembered as the big boss of the Berg, what with his tre-flip vengeance tale and the nonchalance with which he put down the big tricks yesterday. I was kind of shocked he didn’t bring out the switch frontside heelflip, but with all the nonsense exploding down the steps and out of Phelps’ megaphone, probably I would’ve sat down after one switch frontside flip trick too.

But Chris Cole’s quick-draw makes aside, the winner of this weekend’s big-jump hoedown was for sure skateboarding’s nappy boy, the schnozzed-out seventh son of a seventh son* known as Lizard “Mike Plumb” King. Not so much because he landed more tricks than anybody, which he did, but because he spent his 15 or so minutes in the SF air executing some grade-A dork material… and while it would probably be a stretch to hold up a world record backside 180 one-footer as high-level commentary on the whole get-tricks-or-die-trying affair, it added an amazing unpredictable gonzo element to an event so packed with hungry strivers and messageboard mavens checking off boxes on “most likely to be landed” spreadsheets.

Now, a lot of people find the slobbering pursuit of NBD’s that this type of contest produces rather gauche for understandable reasons, and Jake Phelps has taken plenty of heat in the last 24 hours for his usual self-aggrandizing antics, as well as the way he seemed to relish axing dudes and dashing poor Neil Smith’s nollie heelflip hopes. But fair’s fair and hand it to Thrasher for moving the best-trick format forward, and in the process creating one of the few contests that actual people who ride skateboards care about… another being the Berrics game of skate, which you could say has improved upon the don’t-fall-off-your-board-for-60-seconds format. Whereas the Berrics’ warehouse floor democratizes professional skateboarding competitions, Phelps & Co. have successfully set up camp on the other end of the spectrum with shit like the Wallenberg contests, Slaughter at the Opera and so on, don’t-try-this-at-home affairs where, yeah, there’s money, but a shot at a piece of history too.

There’s an argument that packing 11 groundbreaking tricks into one banner-splashed, frenetic afternoon cheapens what it is to do a trick down the Wallenberg stairs, which I can see, but then I think about the legendary Hubba Hideout. In its nth liberation you had dudes flying out to camp there twenty-four hours a day, and yeah it was cool to see Carroll schralp it on the cover of TSM for all the obvious reasons, but that came amid a million web clips, and even legitimately gnarly stuff like Matt Miller’s nollie noseblunt were eventually relegated to the last 60 seconds in that summer’s TWS vid. So, Wallenbergers, get it if you can, while it’s there, make it count, etc etc.

And if there was a best trick yesterday, I think Lindsey Robertson did it. Wow.

*it’s a Utah joke

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13 Responses to “Kill Yo Self”

  1. smorales Says:

    I can’t believe I didn’t see Active Erica, Corey “Duffman says a lot of things” Duffel was a nice alternative though.

  2. Rocuronium Says:

    On the Thrasher site he comments: “Thanks to all the kooks, goons, and losers standing on the roll-in doing nothing. “.
    While it is kooky to just lurk at the top, I’m surprised that he expected every career-skateboarder to risk this summer’s per diems and contest winnings in order to be Jake’s monkey. $6K for blowing out a knee or both ankles, when Cole’s gonna school you anyway? Shiiit.

  3. Rocuronium Says:

    Ooops, I just read on SLAP about the dozens of lurkers with no chance of landing anything who were crowding the platform. Still, I’m not surprised Mike Mo et al did not risk their entire careers for an NBD smorgasboard.
    And yeah, airwalks will always be sick

  4. theProgram Says:

    I typically take issue with guys like young Lindsey Robertson who seem to build careers as being “heelflippers,” but I must say, the ease and nonchanlance with which he landed that backside heel made me giggle with glee IRL, and turned over a new leaf in my life; I now like Linsdey Robertson.

    And what about Lizard’s jingle-bellish ollie to firecracker, laughing all the way? Oof.

  5. Back From Wallenberg at Boardistan Says:

    [...] Cole marked it with authority and Lizard King, well, what did you expect. Bummed we missed it. Click here to see all the video from Thrasher [...]

  6. clew Says:

    That shit was off it. People hate on Lizard, he fucking destroyed. I think i saw Chris Cole yawn during that sw/ff and I seriously read how Andrew Pott’s hardflip wasn’t “proper”, what a joke. I predict Marissa will kickflip that shit one day.

  7. theProgram Says:

    i predict that she better fucking hurry.

  8. smorales Says:

    Word is that the stairs are not actually being demolished, they are messing with the wheelchair ramp(which may make it unskatable in the contest way), but they are thinking of putting metal on the ledges, which if you’ve skated them isnt a terrible idea, though it loses some aesthetic and sliding appeal. But hey, maybe they will take a wrecking ball to the whole thing…

  9. theProgram Says:

    Aren’t they building another building in the landing area?

  10. hoen Says:

    best back 180 one-footer ive ever seen. dork trick? yes. amazing? yes.

  11. felix Says:

    It looked like Lizard King was wearing a g-string on that back 180. It was probably a shoelace belt, though.

  12. toby Says:

    Have you seen the new video on Quiksilver – http://www.quiksilver.com/TheSpot

  13. plugatariov Says:

    Lizard King’s bs ollie north was fucking amazing,he is beast!

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