Even Dwarfs Started Small

ellenpage_whipit
Sonny’s missing

I have a thing with little kid skaters, which is to say, I have a thing against them, meaning, I generally/totally can’t stand watching them. In order to demonstrate how seriously serious I am and potentially earn internet cool guy points, I’ll just say there are times when I feel kinda iffy on Guy Mariano’s Blind video part, and when it comes to somebody like Nyjah Huston or Chaz Ortiz forget about it. Whereas I am a fan of dudes like Nick Jensen and Grant Taylor post-puberty, I really wasn’t at all interested in their floppy flips and billowing T-shirts before they cracked the 60-inch barrier, and even the watchable exceptions to this rule like Jeron Wilson and Colin McKay only serve as a bitter reminder that there are 14-year-old kids out there front-blunting it up while I have to go to work, pay taxes, spend my time thinking about cures for constipation and so forth. Youch.

But these deeply personal problems of mine are basically just background for the revelation that was Yaje Popson’s section in the much-ballyhooed “Rich Mahogany” video (holder of the title for best internet promo of the year), which had me reconsidering my whole hate-first-wait-five-years-and-then-ask-questions approach to little kid skaters. Now I got this New York-centric vid a couple months ago, partly because of that promo and partly because Billy Rohan and Lurker Lou were in it, and I just naturally assumed that over time I would gravitate toward the bearded dudes’ parts because, you know, we here at B.T.O aren’t impervious to internet stereotypes the same way we are to fiery lava. But there I’d be, letting Yaje Popson’s opening part play through, the usual little-kid grumbles fading to the back of my head like so many unreturned library books and Slap messageboard passwords.

One major advantage this kid has is backside lipslides, which he can seemingly screech across most any available surface. Another is an innate ability to break down my old person defenses. Let me give an example. At one point in this video part he’s doing this line down a street and he whips out the fakie frontside noseslide shove-it, a classic mid-to-late-90s ledge trick that’s gotten all bogged down these days with fakie flips and bigspins and reality TV and shit. It’s the sorta trick I would see somebody do at a spot or a park and think to myself how the dude doing it probably had been skating a while. Yaje Popson has a lot of these type of moves, or else something about the way he does a trick like the switch backside bigspin that made me think about Rick Howard in “Questionable” instead of whoever’s doing them these days (Darrell Stanton?). Or this frontside feeble grind he does on a beefy ledge, which is awesome in all the standard ways. And, he nollie 180′s into that courthouse bank drop, which is just silly.

Of course at this point Yaje Popson’s already past the little-kid red zone, because at 17 or whatever he’s shed most of that dumpy midget style that some dudes unfortunately never overcome, no matter how tight their clothing gets. There’s a weird kind of feature on him here, but the best idea is probably to get the Green Diamond video and watch that because it’s also got loads of beards and Vans and Kyle Iles does the sickest switch noseblunt slide. There is also a Soulja Boy song and the “Bossy” instrumental. You can buy it from Unicron probably, I can’t find Quartersnacks’s ordering page anymore.

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9 Responses to “Even Dwarfs Started Small”

  1. camelsarelame Says:

    I can see where you’re coming from! The image at the beginning of the post was funny too once I started reading into it. Rich Mahogany is one of my favorite videos of recent times. A wave of NY hipster skating crashing in on your head. The guy interviewing him was a doof

  2. will Says:

    dude. that was some potential pedophile action. i bet that kid was so bummed he had to stand next to him under that umbrella, awkwardly avoiding eye contact…

  3. Sean Says:

    that video is like a fine wine… It becomes a very pleasant and comfortable watch.

  4. Brad K. Says:

    Who taught that dude how to hold an umbrella?

  5. art hellman Says:

    Hey these kids today, they’re so much better than the kids
    of yesterday, hey hear what they say this generations here
    to stay these kids today. These kids today got nothing, so
    we got nothing to lose 200 channels on TV and nothin but
    real bad news these kids today want answers, but we’ve got
    nothin but lies they tell us they know what’s best and they
    no compromise.
    Hey these kids today, they’re so much better than the kids
    of yesterday, hey hear what they say this generations got a
    way these kids today.
    These kids today got somethin, that nobody else can match
    your better be here before us oh you’re such a sick sick
    patch seen nothin but god damn muzzles. that’s nothin that
    i will abide.we’re runnin away to find that they scream god
    why why why why why?

    1,2,3,4 baby come and hit the floor 5,6,7,8 baby come
    and can’t relate hey hey hey hey hey hey.
    HEY these kids today these kids today!

  6. carbonite Says:

    fakie frontside noseslide shove-it

    whoa…that’s my go-to trick. trip the fuck out

  7. Rocuronium Says:

    However redundant his last name is geneologically, it’s a destiny-maker for a New York skater.

  8. Captain planet Says:

    Yeah that Fuel TV jock bag even made ME uncomfortable. I thought he was gonna start rubbing yaje’s shoulder or give him an uncle pedo head rub. What a lame ass

  9. sleezy bone Says:

    you and your fucking tracy goddamn fragments and your ellen page and your david foster wallace references. BIGGEST BOOKSHELVES IN SK8TING. No, but seriously, elitism is truism.

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