Would You Buy A Skateboard From This Boy-Child?

As the 24-hour twit cycle and its bottomless demand for web-ready footage continues to remake the skateboard pursuit before our eyes, one of the semi-entertaining developments has been the fulfillment of a prophecy made several years ago by now-Dirty Ghetto Kid Josh Kalis, who said something to the effect that there are now multiple stages of “going pro” — the first being the symbolically important signature deck, followed by the more lucrative pro shoe deal, and onward/upward into the lofty realms of reality TV contracts and energy drink sponsorships that run more than skin deep.* This blog-space would add to this list the message-board fodder of getting on various-status flow programs (rep, “direct”), the sounds-silly concept of “going am” and I guess the baseline local-shop deal, although you could have some flow chart fun tracking elevation to “name” shops like your FTCs or Westsides, and maybe a mailorder offshoot.

From a personal brand-building standpoint it seems like the deck, however commoditized the seven plies have become, is still the leading indicator in terms of how/when/why dudes get the pro nod, even if the blessings of whatever footwear concern is backing said dude are increasingly being sought. Kenny Hoyle, that long-laboring, Laker-hating West Coast kid with the hardflips and relaxed attitude toward life, got called up to the show last week in a promo-video arrangement centered on the kind of sorta-sensical skit that in the bro-age known as the 80s could’ve carried a decent chunk of a Bones Brigade vid, and done a good job of it too. Hailing back to what was said about Toy Machine’s Matt Bennett a few months back, this kid has earned it which helps to rebuild a little faith in the vague structure of the universe — the graphic will soon be buried under piles of team series boards and other one-offs, and maybe his next move is already in the frame at DVS, but dudes, the debut pro board maybe means something still.

Kenny Hoyle’s trick universe seems like it expanded for this part, with like that f/s bluntslide kickflip and the switch heelflip b/s tailslide shove-it helping with our little “earned it” thesis — watching his footage in the past he always looked confident but on some of these “Madness” clips he’s matured or gained more command (thinking here of the 360-flip noseslide near the end for instance), though his face still looks about 12 years old. Maybe varial heelflipping gaps off what looks like a gigantic building block turned sideways keeps you young.

Expedition plays the contrast to the hilt when Hoyle is confronted by an extra-grizzled Rob Welsh, here doing his best “Paco” and breaking out the payment-plan jacket for the first time in a while. For my money Welsh’s footage in this little vid outstrips what he had in “Fully Flared,” a lot more of the classic smoker Welsh with new spot footage, obligatory pants adjustments and transition stuff to justify the Lowcard hats. Refer also to the hand stylings on the fakie b/s 5-0 flip out, and Rob Welsh remains able to pop out of nose-centric tricks better than your favorite post-Lakai ledge am. Head-turners elsewhere from Joey Pepper (kickflip to surprise lipslide) and Enrique Lorenzo who has this one clip where it’s hard to tell what direction he’s skating and reminded me of that Cliche segment from “Freedom Fries.”

Happily returned Ryan Gallant’s got an eerie calm with one of the harder tricks going, his much-utilized b/s 180 switch f/s crooked grind, and also newly pro Matt Miller’s ungodly ledge powers and vaguely Colin Mckayish looks made me muse a little on why his DC affiliation didn’t land him at Plan B when Gallant’s spot opened up. But wife-beatin’ Spencer Hamilton’s mini-part maybe wins best supporting video part or whatever here: beefy board flipping from a rail-skinny bro who wears pants the right way and has mastered the fakie frontside bigspin out of switch backside nosegrinds. His manual tricks are super hard and the effect on that last stair set is key, the trick is bananas.

*For the record, my money remains on “not real”

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12 Responses to “Would You Buy A Skateboard From This Boy-Child?”

  1. Watson Says:

    I just watched this video today. Fuckin hated it. The skit, the shitty editing, the “fun section”. Horrible. Not as bad as Der Bratwurst tour which is by far the most disgusting editing in a video since Beware The Flare, but shitty nonetheless.

    Don’t even get me started on the aspect ratio. How a brand could release a video like that without correcting it is beyond me. I mean they cut out their own fucking titles for fuck’s sake! And cutting out people’s feet and shit? Unreal.

    Really good skating though which makes the whole shitty execution of the video even more tragic. Fucking up a Joey Pepper section has got to be one of the worst skate crimes commitable.

  2. DamnDanMan Says:

    You crazy watson. The aspects only fucked up on the on-line rip floating around. Also I dunno how you can hate on the pure steez oozing off gallant

  3. eddie Says:

    remember, watson also dislikes quim cardona.

  4. Watson Says:

    I hope the aspect is only fucked up on that rip. I heard the actual video was like that. Like at the premiere and everything. Anyone seen a not-fucked version?

    Also I in no way hated on Gallant. Don’t know where you got that from. I like that guy. Like I said, the skating in the video is fucking amazing, which makes the shitty editing and lame fucking effects and all that unnecessary shit even worse.

    Also for the record I like old Quim Cardona.

  5. thecarbonite Says:

    Dan it must be the rip you’re watching. I don’t know shit about aspect:ratio or videography, but there’s no cutting off of feet (?) on the actual DVD; for example, after the k/f b/s lip over the grate, you can fully see the board and everything…

  6. Watson Says:

    THANK FUCK!

    I still hated the editing though.

  7. Jeremy Randall Says:

    Maybe it’s just because I met him a couple times, and it’s cool seeing someone you kinda sorta barely know making it in the skate world, but I thought Spencer Hamilton had the best section in the video, despite it’s shortness. The man is killing it!!!

  8. handsclapanin Says:

    i went to the premiere & it looked good to me. kenny killed it. def deserves the pro nod. the skit was embarassing though. me & my boys were cracking up. and i don’t think it was supposed to be funny.

  9. Danzig Says:

    I thought the skit was funny throughout, and didn’t think that was a bad thing. I have been acquainted with most of the team too and I think that just made it funnier, being able to compare/contrast with their personalities.

    There have been way worse skits in skate videos. Ones that have ruined the video. This one just fleshed it out, it was the binding holding the pages together.

  10. carbonite Says:

    skits in Nike vid were waaaay worse

  11. alex dyer Says:

    The skits were pretty ‘Guilty’ but I assumed that was tongue in cheek or some shit. The team is so sick, as good as it gets these days. However I would jog on two of them and have an almost new age 101 team

  12. dude Says:

    I’m pretty sure you’re like the Gino of blogging.
    Can we expect a countdown list for some 2010 bests?
    been reading your stuff for about a year now (thanks YWS for showing me the way) and I just spent the last week at work reading from the very first post. Last years’ BTO’s top 10 from the ’00s had me glued to the screen cause I started skating in 2000 and that top ten is basically my first look at skating. An appropriate time to start skating I guess…

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