Bobby Worrest Vies With Danny Way To Be Skateboarding’s Eminent Conservative Thinker

Second perhaps only to the earth-shaking development that Usama Bin Laden had been discovered and killed in a high-value military operation was last night’s surprise emergence, pictured above, of Krooked Skateboards pro Bobby Worrest as a conservative commentator on Fox News Channel. Worrest, as he publicly hailed the elimination of Bin Laden as a terrorist threat to the U.S. and other sovereign locales around the globe, immediately fueled speculation that he had effectively thrown his hat into the ring to represent the views of extreme/conservative sportists in the coming election cycle.

By anteing up as such an “ambassador” of goodwill and bridge-constructor between the worlds of action sports and Republican thought, Worrest’s move also served to flag a coming generational shift in the role, held for more than a decade by Danny Way who has long embraced traditional family values. Way in the past 10 years has pushed to broaden his brief by traveling to emerging markets such as China, whose Giant Wall he leaped in 2005 to symbolize the converging paths of the Earth’s two remaining superpowers.

Worrest’s high-stakes gambit to situate himself as the prime mouthpiece of “Y” Generation skaters could brew turmoil among conservative ranks, which are seen reluctant to let go of Way, a proven performer who captured the galactic land speed record for skateboarding a few years ago. Worrest’s unshaven appearance is said to have ruffled feathers among senior party officials and he continues to be viewed by many as a classical “beltway insider” since he grew up less than an hour from Washington D.C.

Explaining his views on U.S. military commando operations abroad, Bobby Worrest in 2009 told ESPN Sports that the movie character John Rambo is “a big inspiration.”

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13 Responses to “Bobby Worrest Vies With Danny Way To Be Skateboarding’s Eminent Conservative Thinker”

  1. ricky schilitiz Says:

    funny, i thought i was reading a skateboard blog, not ‘overly self-indulgent ramblings by a bad writer who is sad that he got rejected from a state college creative writing MFA’

  2. bo Says:

    If I don’t read this one too hard, I like it a lot. It’s also a great illustration of what some of the revelry the other night was all about.

  3. joe ballsac Says:

    ricky schilitiz you are a big poopy head

  4. editor Says:

    Ricky nailed it. In far less words than this blog could ever nail it in. The time you spend writing this nonsense you could actually be out skating. Remember skateboarding? You know, instead of just running your mouth about skateboarding? Try it sometime, dude. It’s way more fun and fulfilling.

  5. the necrognarmicon Says:

    Hilarious. Pay no heed to the sandy vaginas.

  6. SKImask Says:

    “The time you spend writing this nonsense you could actually be out skating.”

    This is the weakest fucking diss and always has been. Do you spend 100% of your free time skateboarding? Do you have no other hobbies, no other interests? If so, you must be a pretty fucking boring dude.

    While you are certainly entitled to your opinion of this blog, making dumbshit assumptions about the author makes you seem like, well, a dumbshit. For all you know he just finished a 48-hour-cocaine-and-Red-Bull-fueled skate marathon.

    And your criticism carries no weight as it could easily be reflected back at your dumb ass.

    “The time you spend writing this nonsense you could actually be out skating. Remember skateboarding? You know, instead of just running your mouth about some asshole’s blog about skateboarding? Try it sometime, dude. It’s way more fun and fulfilling.”

  7. art hellman Says:

    5:25 august fifth, 1962 found her lying on her chest her face all turning blue you think it was an overdose but could it have been the pact could it have been the kennedy’s was it lapd it ain’t a mystery baby not to me what a, what a, what a mystery baby not to me rotted corpse, sex decay breasts all full of slugs no answer for the accident her cunt has all dried up, you see 5:25 august fifth, 1962 make it seem a suicide make it seem a suicide make it seem a suicide make it seem a suicide it ain’t a mystery baby not to me what a, what a, what a mystery baby not to me it ain’t a mystery baby not to me what a, what a, what a mystery baby not to me whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah oh

  8. intheknow Says:

    you know you’ve made it big when you’ve got pseudonym’d haters waiting with baited breath for a new post so that they can get first comment.

    congrats, PL.

  9. Watson Says:

    I like this post. It was fun.

  10. ljonz Says:

    no body, no murder…

  11. mo Says:

    remember when danny way killed that gay dude?

  12. FBI Plots DC Metro Bombing To Prevent DC Metro Bombing Plots | The Best Backpacks Reviews 2011 Says:

    [...] Bobby Worrest Vies With Danny Way T&#111&#32&#66e Skateboarding's Eminent … [...]

  13. fucktard Says:

    This shit is funny. You’re blowing it if you took this seriously.

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