We Travel Back In Time To The Year 2006 For A Cautionary Tale About Beef, Wisdom and Standing Your Ground (That Also References Big Punisher [RIP 1971 - 2000])

It was the fall of 2006. Americans were marking one year since the devastating hurricane-floods in the South, the unlikely St. Louis Cardinals stunned the baseball world by winning it all over the Detroit Cardinals, and Shawn Carter was laying the groundwork for an un-retirement by racing autos in beer commercials and, later, selling beef. Several months beforehand, Cam’ron had twice done the once-unthinkable in one swoop, releasing a sort of shitty album and targeting his former boss Jay-Z in an extended dis record that made suggestive remarks and accused Jay-Z of copying raps off of others. The then-retired rap music mogul ultimately crushed Cam with a surprisingly effective weapon, silence. The message was that the “Purple Haze” emcee did not rise to his level.

Flash forward to the fall-time, when Jay-Z is prepping his return. Following attacks by ascendant Killa protege Jim Jones, Jay-Z threw caution to the wind and recorded a response over the by-then acclaimed Jim Jones single “We Fly High” — an eyebrow-raising move that proved catastrophic when Jimmy hours later utterly buried Jay-Z by basically giggling and randomly commenting over S. Carter’s version, turning in some rhymes and a mothballed Juelz Santana verse and general trash-talking. Jay-Z went on to release some albums that sorta diminished his legacy while marrying Beyonce and befriending the guy from Coldplay and other celebs, elevating his net worth to nearly $1 billion.

Yet as he lies asleep on his solid gold bed, next to his megastar-model spouse, fingers aching from counting his riches, belly full of expensive hamburgers, you have to wonder if his eyes remain open, teeth grinding as his mind echoes with Jim Jones’ comments about Big Pun whacking him in the head with a Cristal bottle in a club all those years ago, and wondering if things could have turned out different.

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16 Responses to “We Travel Back In Time To The Year 2006 For A Cautionary Tale About Beef, Wisdom and Standing Your Ground (That Also References Big Punisher [RIP 1971 - 2000])”

  1. Tim Says:

    Koston’s outburst was utterly ridiculous. How could two sentences that don’t even make sense grammatically possibly trigger him to spew forth that caps filled diatribe about how he is working for the “greater good”!?!

    • ljonz Says:

      Have you ever heard the phrase “straw that broke the camel’s back?” I think this is probably the case here. Not to defend Koston though.. Koston always seemed like a brat himself and is now on the receiving end. Whatever… at least it was entertaining for a minute.

      • Tim Says:

        I’m sure that’s the case, but a sarcastic remark ridiculing Olson’s use of a double negative would have been far more effective than that rant.

  2. Jonathan Says:

    Beef is when I see you,Guaranteed to be an ICU, check it.

  3. dedleg Says:

    A solid gold bed is hilarious, but sounds pretty uncomfortable. Can they make gold tempurpedic?

  4. intheknow Says:

    “Yet as he lies asleep on his solid gold bed, next to his megastar-model spouse, fingers aching from counting his riches, belly full of expensive hamburgers…”

    i’m fucking rolling over here.

  5. thecarbonite Says:

    expensive hamburgers kill it
    red robin?

  6. Winston Smith Says:

    I may be a little naive but is this the first time a pro has spoken out publicly against The Party berrics ?

  7. Joel Says:

    i would imagine solid gold would be quite malleable…similar to a slighty frozen waterbed.

  8. Bryan Says:

    Beyonce/ Fiancee/ Check my second LP/ I might bring her back/ That’s your girl, that’s your world/ Had the thing fuckin’ singin’ ’bout slingin’ crack

  9. Anonymous Says:

    shoulda asked Koston to change his shirt and hat…getting stale

  10. thadeus Says:

    What IF, as I’ve read someone else speculate, Koston’s rant wasn’t serious and those two are just laughing about all the commotion it generated.

    What IF pros start building all sorts of rumors and beef, tabloid style, in an effort to stay relevant and vie for a spot on the radar.

  11. Joshua Says:

    Just watched/skipped through “This is Not A Test” this morning and was equally unimpressed.

  12. J-wU Says:

    I thought James Carig and Ronnie Creager had great sections in, “What if”. The 360 heel off the kicker to road ender from James Craig was a belter.

    Morgan Smith and that Sewa Kroetkov had enjoyable sections in, “this is not a test”, and were worth a few watches.

  13. No Narcissist | whassamattayou Says:

    [...] promote the ideology that their work is some how “saving skateboarding” (as evidenced here). This ideology, along with their whole military motif and their affiliation with Scientology is [...]

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