And With Creature’s Sort-Of Update Of The Osiris G-Bag, Things Have Finally Come Full Circle

In the years before 2pac died, Norcal soothsayer E-40 occasionally spoke on the importance of timing, while rapping on open mics about industry hype. Fifteen years later everything and nothing has changed as we regard a landscape strewn about with the corpses of hard- and soft-goods brands loved and not, as well as passing specters that sometimes resemble our self-respect, long ago put in shallow graves by the energy drink dollar. The refugees of this once-noble subculture have naturally sought to subsist by eating our own collective tail, giving rise to a new/old breed of 80s ramp revivalists who represent a more innocent time via tattoos, stripey socks and macrobrew-scented breath.

When Creature rose from the dead a few years ago it had all the trappings of classic period Romero zombieism, an organic and fairly gnarly reflection of the times versus some cheesy wink-and-nudge job like that rewrite of “Pride and Prejudice” or the relaunch of Vision Street Wear*. Here you had some guys with a legit claim to the ramp dog way of life, driving around in a hearse, throwing vert jams, putting out graphics with a lot of monsters and urinating in public** versus some of the later, more hamfisted attempts to capture the Anti-Hero wave, like shoehorning bowl kids onto your picnic table/handrail squad.

Recent developments however suggest that longtime Creature mastermind Darren Navarette may have cooked too long in the sun of San Diego, a region of Southern California sometimes blamed for poisoning the autumn years of the 1990s with bulky rave footwear and tasteless technical tricks. Among the glowing product reviews posted at Skatedaily.net is a recent item highlighting Creature’s “Black Box cooler”, a toteable refrigeration unit the size of a sixpack that also offers speakers and a hookup for an Ipod or other digital music device. Fans of “the Storm” will immediately be transposed backward in time toward an era when the Federalz enlivened several sessions via the notorious Osiris G-Bag, which you may or may not know has evolved through the years recently into a unit known as the “Megatron” that earned its own review, and from a Canadian.

The pic on the Skatedaily review features a Van Halen album presumably blasting, but the use of an Ipod gives the came away. Can one credibly cool a sub-$5 sixer within this product? Will Peter Smolik, flush with Blitz cash flow and emboldened by Rob Dyrdek’s recent dealmaking, attempt to merge Sk8Mafia with Creature? Will the Federalz speak on the controversy on an upcoming mixtape? Would Hell Rell endorse this thing? Does this speaker-cooler-box represent a risk of serious eye injury because beers or soda could be shaken up to dangerous levels by heavy bass vibrations from the tunes?

*BTW, when is somebody going to float the idea of bringing back Prime?
**I’m assuming

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16 Responses to “And With Creature’s Sort-Of Update Of The Osiris G-Bag, Things Have Finally Come Full Circle”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    enjoy the comparison of stupid backpacks with speakers, but maybe not so much the possibe inuendo that ramp/transition skating is a similar trend-of-sorts, or that Creature is a cheesy/poor man’s version Anti-Hero. If that’s the case, look out, or you may get a midnight visit from a puff of smoke revealing the Vertical Vampire, Louis and/or Lestat

  2. Eric Says:

    Darren Navarette is easily one of the coolest dudes I’ve ever met. If they wanna hawk some silly coolers to keep the fun times rolling it works for me! Also I hate that transition/pool skating could/is? becoming hot.

    • Anonymous Says:

      so, darren navarret is cool, but you hate that his preferred method of skateboarding is “hot”?

      ugh, i knew i should have trusted my luddite inclinations and not gone on the internet today.

  3. 1080P Says:

    Speaking truth to power

  4. Corpo Shit Show Says:

    Hahaha! First, it should be said I’ve always liked BTO, I come here pretty regularly. Second, imagine my little-girl-like-blushing when I see the post is about a product I made. Even more so when I realize the Black Box got “G-bagged” and that Navs got blamed for it. All the points that were raised here are, from an outside perspective, easily conceivable but truth be told, we just make gear for camping and traveling (ie. BBQ/cooler or the tent we recently made). Also, I don’t really see the AH point but again, I’m a fan of the writing so is what it is.

    Lee Charron
    Creature Life Coach/Brand Manager/Art Director/Janitor

  5. Liver Knees Says:

    The Anti Hero point is there as an opposite to the likes of Creature, who are fully on the legit side of the hesh-pool-slash-grinding side of the fence along with Anti Hero. Companies with pool kids thrown in as a possible result of half baked focus groups – Element, Flip, and who could miss Chocolate’s attempt over the last few years to morph from schoolyard dons to scruffy shralpers?

    • Rocuronium Says:

      Exactly:
      Here you had some guys with a LEGIT claim to the ramp dog way of life, driving around in a hearse, throwing vert jams, putting out graphics with a lot of monsters and urinating in public** VERSUS some of the later, more hamfisted attempts to capture the Anti-Hero wave

      • Anonymous Says:

        aha. thanks for the clarification. ignore my prior comment…well, except for the Louis & Lestat reference. I amused myself with that reference.

  6. Anonymous Says:

    I inferred the “shoehorning bowl kids onto your picnic table/handrail squad” comment to be aimed more at Slave, and the team having Danny Dicola and more recently, Ben Raybourn.

    • Rocuronium Says:

      Slave is not exactly a picnic table/handrail squad, though one could argue that Black Box is.
      I would categorize Slave as more in the black label kind of ATV/Punk skating. Mumford was early on.

      • Anonymous Says:

        Oh Black Box is definitely a handrail squad; they’ve skated themselves into that corner.

        But Liver Knees is right on about Chocolate. I still to this day don’t see how someone like Raven Tershy fits on that team.

  7. Bigperm808 Says:

    First off, fucking love this blog. Secondly, love it or leave it. It’s all skateboarding and it’s all sick brah!

  8. thecarbonite Says:

    Rickk and Mike have mad business acumen, they’re trying to muscle in on Creature’s ridonkulous market share re: boards. Funny that, in the day, they would have vibed the fuck out of slash dogs/bowl trolls

  9. f dunn Says:

    skateboarding evolves, proliferation of skateparks has led to renewed interest in trannie; that someones would try to sell this is unsurprising. I hope Creature can stay good and mediocre through it, as my elderly neighbour would say, “A lean dog for a long race”

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