Boil the Ocean: Kels got off edition


Try to charge me but I’m not guilty

Parents, lock up your daughters: Seven and a half hours was all it took for 10 angry R&B fans to shake off a couple haters and clear the Pied Piper of R&B on all counts today in his child pornography case. Not that, you know, he isn’t obviously guilty, or this has anything at all to do with skateboarding or whatever, but shit. The dude made “Bump N Grind.” And the “Ignition” remix. And, uh, married Aaliyah when she was 15.

But I truly feel if anybody out there in skating is backing Kels on this, aside from Brian Patch, it would be SAD. A smooth beast way ahead of his time, I get the feeling that SAD’s disdain for the man is surpassed only by his quiet storm-style love for the ladies. Except you know, they’re not 12. And I’d also like to think that Robert Kelly might curl his lip, bite his cigar and nod appreciatively at the switch b/s 180 nosegrind (1:24).

Bonus footage

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One Response to “Boil the Ocean: Kels got off edition”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    Well I’m just a nobody in skateboarding, but I am totally backing R. Kelly! Get in where you fit in, son! Even if that “fitting” is into an underage pussy.

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