Have It Your Way


“Our burgers are fucking delicious,” perhaps

Hitching your wagon to the whims of the masses can make for an interesting ride. Decision by consensus has produced some amazing cultural milestones in our time, including but not limited to the Soulja Boy dance, David Archuletta and Wikipedia, where in the past I entertained myself and many others by generating useful and previously unknown “facts” about Terry Kennedy.

Of course public opinion is often way off to the point of blowing it entirely: CNN entrusted the internet peanut gallery with reporting power, which produced a sort-of plausible but still wildly untrue story about Steve Jobs nearly dying. Then there’s the inexplicable appeal of “The Mummy” movies, as well as David Archuletta. All convincing proof that democracy does not work and we might be better off under the rule of a benevolent dictator, perhaps the dwarf Gimli from “Lord of the Rings.”

I’ve noticed that skateboard-minded advertising is similarly hit-and-miss in this way. Real boldly rolled the dice with a minimalist ad generated by the Slap message board brain-trust, specifically known Hero Member “sal23,” in reaction to some apparently questionable prose accompanying the current campaign. Anyway, behold:

Real’s populist/“plain folks” approach seems to have resonated with the masses, who heaped plaudits on sal23 (“with the their/there/they’re shitty grammar and all”) to the point that he is no doubt entertaining offers from Leo Burnett, among others.

Z-mogul Stacy Peralta had less luck with his recent “Whopper Virgins” ad for BK, in which he served up the floppy sandwich to the moribund citizenry of far-flung zones in Thailand, Greenland and Transylvania (a real place kiddos) as a kind of ultimate taste test against the mighty Big Mac. Or something. It’s only sort of interesting and kind of long, but if you wanna watch it, here it is, funny outfits and all:

Peralta wound up getting slagged in the media for exploiting backwater turds and their marginal sophistication when it comes to fast foods:
-“Outrageous” declared Sharon Akabas of the Institute of Human Nutrition at Columbia University
-“Insensitive” yelped Marilyn Borchardt, development director for Food First

More distressing, Peralta came in for even more flame-broiled criticism from online comment forums:
-“The most nauseating, soul-destroying bit of corporate propaganda that I’ve seen in a long time” clucked one anonymous poster.

Of course the King and his court probably meant to stir the coals a bit with the ad, working we the people into a tizzy before coming back to sweep us off our feet with the sweet scent of roasted cow-flesh. Hopefully Peralta fares better with his new documentary on the Sharks’n’Jets, where he may be playing for significantly higher stakes. And here I really should wrap things up with a really terrible play on words with something like every Dogtown having its Z-day… or, well yeah.

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2 Responses to “Have It Your Way”

  1. carbonite Says:

    http://www.pofolks.com

    they don’t have that restaurant here anymore, I guess it’s just deeper in the southeast…but that site is fucking awesome

    ‘why yes, I am indeed interested in ” franchisin’ “…’

  2. Rocuronium Says:

    At the ground-level/pioneering level of any new movement the first generation has a competitive leg up on the subsequent ones. Hip hop for example: Kool Moe Dee & Ice T did not deserve the prominence, airplay, & loot they received. Same with skateboarding.
    Peralta may have been a good skater & TM & talent scout, but what an awful editor & conceptualizer. The BB videos editing have always bugged the crap out of me for their annoyingly artsy frantic editing. As low-fi as it was the first H-street video broke ground on more than one level: it opened the door for straight up bro-cam filming.
    SP’s awful directing/editing betrayed a lack of insight which is now becoming more apparent.
    Thank you.

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