In Which Mike Carroll Fucks Up My Berrics Bracket And I Learn A Valuable Lesson About Teamwork

But seriously fuck Mike Carroll

Not too long ago I was socializing, as is my wont, with some similarly older skateboarding types: real dyed-in-the-wool dudes with car payments who tsk-tsk kids these days, didn’t bother to see the Fallen video, remember the significance of Honda Civics and deep down still believe in the power of switch crooked grinds in Southern Californian schoolyards. Rudy Johnson’s name came up.

So when somebody asked about the outcome of the Berrics game of skate that particular day I expected half the dudes to roll their eyes and the other half to ask what the fuck a Berrics was, but to my pleasant surprise somebody whipped out a laptop, everybody huddled up and we watched in raucous disbelief as a masked Joey Brezinski let himself be casually outfoxed by Mike Carroll, who I was positive would flub out of contention either intentionally or, you know, cuz he’s getting old. How wrong I was, eh?

Anyway the point is if Berra and Koston possess the power to command a bunch of aging ledge-monkeys to feverishly anticipate every Saturday and Sunday morning like a new episode of TMNT was coming on, they definitely have caught lightning in a bottle with this Berrics Battle thing. And since we’re well into the second round at this point, I figured we’d look back on how my picks performed. (I had to print out a bracket and fill it in manually because either the link or my brain wasn’t working that day… go figure)

Joey Brezinski v. Chad Tim Tim
While I like Chad Tim Tim and all, my imagination had the young(er) buck Brezinski sparked and ready to pull out enough bizarro moves even without manuals to win. I also fully expected the double heelflip to rear its head, and was not disappointed.

Jeron Wilson v. Mike Carroll
Honestly I thought that once we got through the frontside bigspin variations and heelflip variations, Carroll’s bag of tricks was way deeper even if he might not be into the whole idea that much. So, right.

Arto Saari v. Chico Brenes
This one totally flummoxed me, as I believed that even an injury-plagued SOTY would be able to triumph over Chico’s fairly limited trick range, but ultimately Arto fell to a combination of 12-year-old tricks and his own sweat-saturated shirt. Bummer brah.

Mike Mo Capaldi v. Furby
Here I picked the Mike Mo with no hesitation. I firmly believe he will make his way to the final matchup.

Chris Roberts v. Steve Berra
Definitely more a fan of Chris Roberts, but I figured I’d give Berra at least one sympathy vote at his own park. He has to go up against Marc Johnson next so…

Marc Johnson v. Johnny Layton
With this one, I kind of thought it might be a blowout, but had I known Koston & co. were going to run a train on poor MJ I may have changed my vote and would have been totally, horribly incorrect. A shocker for sure.

Billy Marks v. Danny Supa
Danny Supa doesn’t strike me as a real hard-charging competitor and Billy Marks skates parks all the time right? So, you know. Marks’ little crow caw was entertaining.

Brandon Biebel v. Nick McLouth
I dislike Nick McLouth’s skating so I’m glad Biebel won.

Clint Peterson v. Paul Shier
Try as I may, I can’t recall Clint Peterson doing any but the more basic flatground tricks, whereas Paul Shier twirls around on ledges and manual pads all day, so that’s where I laid my bet.

Mikey Taylor v. Benny Fairfax
Since the DVS video came out I’ve come to view Mikey Taylor as sort of mentally unstable and I thought he might somehow crack under the pressure. Whereas mellow Briton Fairfax would generally keep his head down and land tricks. Taylor held it together, so far as I could tell, but still came up short…

Danny Montoya v. Erik Ellington
Ellington never seemed to be any great shakes at a wide variety of flip tricks, given the play given to his flatground switch heelflip in the recent Baker vid, but having seen Montoya deal with consistency issues in person I deemed it a toss-up and went with Ellington – who ultimately triumphed in his Speed Racer swimcap, much to my glee.

Jimmy Cao v. Bryan Herman
This one like several other matchups I thought could be determined by the hung-overed-ness of one party, in this case Herman, who indeed eventually succumbed to the flip-flippin’ wiles of Cao.

Daniel Castillo v. Andrew Reynolds
I think Reynolds was throwing him a bone with the switch 360.

PJ Ladd v. Tyler Bledsoe
Probably more than any of the other matches this one had me biting at fingernails and whatnot, because I expected Bledsoe to maybe put up a little bit of a fight, but just in the general process of PJ Ladd wiping the floor with him. Which wasn’t at all what happened and now I’m quite concerned because I had PJ going pretty far. So I don’t know what to do now. Suicide, possibly.

Eric Koston v. Rob Dyrdek
For another dude with his own park I figured Dyrdek would’ve done a wee bit better, even though he was up against the boss of all bosses. Though of course he had a sense of humor about it. Back to the piles of money and beautiful women for him.

Donovan Strain v. Sean Malto.
I was one of those people who had never heard of Donovan Strain before this whole mess. And so I picked Malto. Had I known laser flips and double hardflips and all that were going to enter into it, I probably still would have picked Sean Malto, but maybe wouldn’t have felt as cheated. Hence I remain bitter and dismayed and I’m seriously concerned about Koston’s chances in the coming round.

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7 Responses to “In Which Mike Carroll Fucks Up My Berrics Bracket And I Learn A Valuable Lesson About Teamwork”

  1. Vitis Says:

    I don’t think Koston wants to win, particularly. My vote’s for Mike Mo.

  2. Rocuronium Says:

    Arto deserves a wild card spot for that pop. Each of his tricks were at least a foot off the ground.
    Also, as they move up the brackets or during the next series, they should open up the whole park for tricks, rather than limiting it to flatground.

  3. carbonite Says:

    if I ever get “invited” to the Berrics I will wear a shirt that says “real cool black guy”…

  4. sean lewis Says:

    hey i really enjoy your site. here is mine


  5. Rikku Markka Says:

    To carbonite:

    Nice reference, but would you be bummed if you then got punched in the face, just like Steve Berra?

  6. carbonite Says:

    I would be bummed, indeed. However, I think that’s against Berra’s religion, or some shit…

  7. art hellman Says:

    fairfax v. koston….and i predict an upset

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