Things I Learned Reading Jereme Rogers’ Twitter Page

Bird is the word

In case you’ve been living in a cave on the dark side of planet Mars with a flower-pot jammed over your head, Twitter is the new and popular internet service that makes your Facebook status feelings into an interesting blog site. Celebrities have triumphed as the driving force of the Tweet-o-sphere after Ashton Kutcher obliterated the hopes and dreams of CNN recently, and it should come as no surprise to any of us that proud Christian, switch feeble grinder and budding hip-hop artist Jereme Rogers owns and operates one of the more popular Twitspots around, which you too can view here.

Tweeter has given birth to a host of add-on applications such as Twigit, Twibble, Twitteriffic and Tweetberry, a cereal that is nutritious and fun at the same time. But as ever, content is king, which is a lucky thing for Jereme Rogers’ Tweet followers because JR Blastoff pours the same amount of soul, determination and steely-eyed street level reality into each of his 140-character Twits as he does his rap songs. A few highlights after a cursory Twit-scan:

*Sober Mind Power is a concept of the past as Jereme Rogers employs clever pot-smoking euphemisms, but not before explaining what they mean. “‘Handling some paper work’ Means:Smokin a blunt or joint ‘Closing a deal’ Means:Having sex”

*Watch for an upcoming Axe body spray commercial featuring Ryan Sheckler’s progress into the world of ill-considered tattoo art

*Spelling Greg Lutzka’s last, and first, name is more difficult than it seems

*Jereme Rogers’ maneuverings through the rap realm are far more serious and major than anyone (or at least me myself) have given him credit for. Namely that those other dudes like “Diezel” are “his artists,” which I interpret to mean he pays them to rap and wave bottles of liquor in front of webcams and things. Ponder if you will, the life of the JR Blastoff weed carrier. “Eatin bennihanas wit diezel, chavonne an jess”

*If you scratch Jereme Rogers’ back in a significant and businesslike manner, he will reciprocate, possibly via a high-profile Tweetering. “Eatin Wahoos right now an they had a big poster of me on the wall, Eat Wahoos, figured I’d support them, play fair” (includes a Twitpic of said poster, a DVS POP item)

*Canadian skate-bro Scott Decenzo can make a pretty sweet Monopoly stencil

*Jereme Rogers did not like the Julia Robers/Clive Owen vehicle “Duplicity,” which has been noted in the press to be “delightfully twisty” and “superior entertainment.” JR begs to differ with not one but two rather pointed Tweeterings: “it was slow an dragged on, I am no smarter from it.”

*Finally, as the hour grows late, so does Jereme Rogers get deep: “I sleep now, but I will lay an bed an u could say meditate for about 20mins 1st, this consist of being as thoughtless as possible, at peace

u should try it sometime, doesn’t have to be before bed it can be day, wheneva. Just focus on ur breathing, be as thoughtless as possible

when u cut off compulsive thinkin, God talks to you, it’s a time for learning, blessings, self understanding-which is very important folks

Self understanding is where u drive ur true self confidence from, ur hope an goals, determination, peace an happiness. You most know urself

you must love urself, truly, be pleased wit urself. Theres a love chain-it starts wit God, then u will learn to love urself, then others

once you’ve done this an can look urself an there mirror an truly be happy, you will no longer hate on anyone, an you will go to new levels

you will live at peace wit urself an others, u will be filled wit self confidence, an you will be able to conquer whatsoever u please”

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9 Responses to “Things I Learned Reading Jereme Rogers’ Twitter Page”

  1. pt Says:

    thank u pilot lihgt

  2. Zboy Says:

    Solid gold. I wish I could sit in on one of those studio sessions…

  3. clew Says:

    Repeat after me….bim sala bim sala bim….mind power, now go switch hardflip. I like how “the program” has evolved to include blunts, nice.

  4. paul Says:

    And on the eight day, God made ganja, and provided the world with zig zags. He looked at what he had created, and laughed, in a half paranoid, half euphoric laugh that echoed from the Grand Canyon to the top of Everest.

  5. paul Says:

    and by “eight”, I mean “eighth”

  6. Mike Says:

    Pray always, get to know the lord, study and obey the bible, quit sinnin’, escape hell.

  7. Rocuronium Says:

    The funniest thing about the pseudo-spirituality and dime-store prophetism ganja induces is how self-aggrandizing it is.
    It’s never self-critical, never humbled, never attempting to make up for our feeble nature and limited resources as slightly evolved monkeys.
    The victim always claims an insurmountable source of insight, love, and wisdom which should be beheld and accepted unconditionally.

    Whatever, who cares….. why did I bother?

    Do I get a post-count out of this?

  8. Watson Says:

    I love “wit”. Gets me every time.

  9. camelsarelame Says:

    one thing has been bothering me about this whole JR blastoff thing. Usually when people go crazy on drugs and go into some downward spiral they become born again christians. since jr blastoff is already christian whats going to happen? Can you be double born again? one too many white girl parties and im sure he’ll find himself at the end of his rope, helpless and sad…

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