“It’s on”
So: in the last few weeks, JR Blastoff retired to the tune of a logo graphic, Nike scooped Koston, Heath Kirchart channeled Joaquin Phoenix on the TWS red carpet and Brewce Martin clung to life following a freak accident with a tire mounting machine. Strictly speaking yall can be forgiven if you didn’t notice that the yellow, coned wheels are coming off the skateboard business, while the powers that be do their damnedest to hold it all together, up to and including pro model shoes for Kyle Leeper and Shuriken Shannon. Perhaps it is time for a collective Bad Boys 2 moment.
First there was the nasty fight over who may nurse Active Mailorder back to health… because sometimes, “buy-two-clearance-items-get-one-free” deals just can’t get bros buying flame graphic boardshorts again. Zumiez made a play with designs toward creating some sort of mall-shop conglomerate, but couldn’t close the deal; the ultimate winners of the $5.2 million Active auction chose to remain nameless for reasons that remain their own (think they’re from Florida).
In a similar battle for a faded, yesteryear skate brand, Kareem Campbell issued a big “nuh uh” Tweet towards Circa, regarding the latter’s claimed ownership of the storied Axion footwear trademark. It’s hard to think who’d do better by this company, which had in its heyday the Guy Mariano model, a hot team and Kevin Taylor’s stab at a running shoe. As far as I know they’re currently counting on Brian Wenning to lead the charge back into the mosh pit that is the skate shoe market, which seems like the type of crazy-like-a-fox move the post-MNC Kareem would green-light, so maybe there’s room for the two parties to get together on this.
Elsewhere, Jamie Thomas’s Black Box distribution recruited Frank Messman, a known wizard with powers to conjure profits from skateboard sales. His brief is said to include constructing elaborate financial hedges against the shifting prices of Canadian hard-rock maple, urethane and black leather dye. Messman is familiar to some as the dude who “turned World around,” but considering Messman’s potential supernatural powers this actually could have been a back-door Trojan Horse power move by the Chief to head off competition in the past through time travel. (Terminator part 4 release this summer only a coincidence?) Regardless these are tough times indeed. Jamie Thomas famously tests the work ethic of his flow kids in the trenches of the Black Box warehouse; could traveling sales rep responsibilities await willing amateurs? Highly paid pros set to work devising a comeback strategy for Monster Trucks?
One idea to get the industry back on the rails that’s been floated by multiple industry leaders is that old chestnut, the Olympics. This would “Grow the Sport” while simultaneously putting skateboarders alongside soccer and basketball players, thus earning them the respect of couchbound Americans that they may richly deserve. A similar gambit in the late 1980s resurrected the ping-pong industry, which had been all but dead after star paddleman Jerry Rogerman quit the sport to focus on a career in hair rock.
At Boil the Ocean blog the tendency is to believe that skateboarding in the Olympics is a bad idea, not because of any evil intentions by the IOC or the IASC or even Tony Iommi, all of whom are upstanding persons with nothing but the purest of intentions for athletic pursuits of all varieties. More problematic is the still-fresh memory of poor Bode Miller, pilloried in the press for his love of a good time, and to make it plain, some fear the same thing might happen to the gentle Fred Gall.
A better plan, of course, was already dreamed up by the powers at K-Swiss, who stunned the skate industry and rational thinkers everywhere by naming none other than Greg Lutzka “creative director.” Video evidence follows, for those who haven’t seen it already.
BTO votes we put Billy Rohan in charge of everything. View his platform here around the 1:00 minute mark.
Tags: Active, Axion, bailouts, Billy Rohan, Black Box, Fred Gall, Governator, Greg Lutzka, industry shakedown, K-Swiss, Kareem Campbell, mythology, Olympics, personal brands, posts, Quartersnacks, strategies, table tennis, time travel, Troy, Zumiez
July 8, 2009 at 1:54 am |
It’s so nice to see Brewce in the same sentence as Frost and Heath, as he is certainly in their rank.
July 8, 2009 at 11:35 am |
Billy Rohan in charge of everything… I love it.
Crazy thing is, I think it’d actually really work too.
July 8, 2009 at 2:31 pm |
kswiss is the worst idea, but hey, money is money i guess
July 8, 2009 at 2:41 pm |
Meta indeed.
July 8, 2009 at 6:10 pm |
I heard that school at 12th and A made Rohan assistant Principal and that he is lobbying to increase enrollment in arts & crafts (or as we used to call it “arts and farts and crafts”), and another friend of mine heard that he was recently spotted lifting a bus
The best thing about the tanking skate-industry is that someone might follow the “Barbarians At The Gate” tour formula and just start giving their pros a rental car and a map…and CEO’s might once again start uttering the phrase, “Who’s Civic is parked in my spot?”
July 8, 2009 at 7:32 pm |
…putting professional skateboard riders in close proximity with teen girls in tights
…sounds like the gymnastics camp across the lake from Woodward.
OR SO I HAVE HEARD, according to an apocryphal pre-internet tale.