Lucas Puig Ledge Sequence Raises Concerns That The Ghost Of Chris Lambert’s Career May Be Trying To Possess His Soul Dudes

Several people noticed a change when Lucas Puig left Lakai Footwear Ltd. to go work for Adidas, fulfilling a longtime dream of endorsing certain of the same sportswear products as his French heroes of years past. For most people, the difference centered on his feet and the shoes he was wearing. But behind the scenes at industry functions some began to whisper that a stranger and potentially more troubling metamorphosis could be at work, namely that during this time of upheaval in Lucas Puig’s sponsorship situation that the specter of a defunct pro career, years in the grave, may be seeking to supplant the “Fully Flared” skater’s grasp on his own affairs and remake his career in the poltergeist’s own graven image.

This month’s Adidas ad spotlights what we must interpret as a silent battle for nothing less than Lucas Puig’s soul. Here we find him maxing out his “special” bar with a switch hardflip backside tailslide, back to switch even, a maneuver that requires intense concentration to successfully land for maximum bonus points. Deep in thought and staring down the ledge similar to the way a hungry wolf in the French hillsides might stare down a wayward baguette, Lucas Puig does not notice his hands beginning to move on their own, seeking some extra token to take the photo to some other, unspeakable level. Over one shoulder hovers the translucent shade of Chris Lambert, gleefully urging Lucas Puig’s hand toward a clear plastic water bottle, criticized for cluttering European cities and producing loud crackling sounds. Over the other shoulder floats SAD, fingertips at his temples and eyes closed, exerting all of his internal forces in order to sway Lucas Puig’s hand instead toward a white handtowel that represents purity of soul and also the Ramada Inn.

Luckily for Lucas Puig’s future prospects we can see that the white towelette was the victor. But this episode raises a more deeply troubling threat, that the skateboard industry in this time of harsh recession could be primed for haunting. Ghosts regularly preyed on pros in at the tail end of the 1980s and early 1990s when the industry lolled over and exposed its weak underbelly during the administration of George Bush Sr., and many privately fear that a worse haunting could be at hand soon. Besides the usual property damage and costs related to expungement, an abrupt rise in hauntings poses longer-term threats because it can be scary and equity investors find it difficult to secure insurance against ghosts. This weekend Boil the ocean urges all friends and defenders of the industry to attend church and not answer the door if it seems like a ghost is ringing the bell. Thank you

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14 Responses to “Lucas Puig Ledge Sequence Raises Concerns That The Ghost Of Chris Lambert’s Career May Be Trying To Possess His Soul Dudes”

  1. Zottli Says:

    he’s also haunted by the presumably living, in the form of marc johnson’s final trick in man down

  2. bryan Says:

    Jim Bates swag.

  3. Ndreeze Says:

    Presumably soccer feet’s prodigious skill combined with the three stripes’ inherent power has lead him to translate dribbling and soccer moves to board control.

  4. al Says:

    I was waiting for a “throw in the towel” punchline. but you popped out early. now who’s the p-rod…
    also, bringing a real frenchy to a not-so-real french city i.e. Montreal gave him the needed confidence/superiority to pull the trick off.

  5. bote Says:

    totally peace park, i hadn’t noticed. Knowing that suggests to me that he was stemming the bloodflow from a previous attempt that ended on a broken 40.

  6. ecstastic Says:

    stupid post. try one about one in a million…

  7. long time follower, first time commenter Says:

    this one was kind of a stretch. your rants, while often entertaining, insightful, thought-provoking, and historically/topically relevant, can also be quite capricious, convoluted, and somewhat incoherent. however, the site and its commentary are uniquely enjoyable and much appreciated

  8. KDP Says:

    Heard from a fellow team mate of Lucas’ the other day that this was in fact to stem the blood flow from a previous attempt and nothing more.

  9. Ndreze Says:

    Perhaps the ghost of Lucas still haunts the Lakai Europe team, leaving present-day Puig’s soul ripe for phantasmal hauntings.

  10. Pastel Says:

    Montréal is not in Europe, it’s 6 hour drive north off New York… Know your amérique.

    Puig , Lambert???

  11. tonecapone Says:

    another corperate buy out.lakai and dvs are getting like lame ducks now.

  12. No Time For Slipping | boil the ocean Says:

    […] nose-thumbing. At times, though, things veered darker and weird, most famously in 2012 when a published Lucas Puig sequence featured the freshly striped-up Frenchman switch hardflip backside tailsliding with a water bottle in hand, immediately kindling frights that […]

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