Archive for October, 2013

Exhibit 1415190805031112051819 From The ‘Frontside Noseslides Are Among The Most Picturesques Of Slides’

October 12, 2013

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The ‘outdated’ Brian Clarke dons his 1995 uniform for this one from the Caples/Lopez TSM, which also features a backside noseblunt from Guy Mariano that appears unhampered by any lazer flips and a really cool story about John Motta spelunking for spots in sewers.

Stardate 91361.54: When Shit Got Real In Foz Do Iguacu And Several Other International Locales

October 3, 2013

shutdown

In a true parable of our times, ESPN and the X-Games determined earlier today to slice four international stops from the great vert ramp routine that is the expanded X-Games contest season. After nobly floating ramps in overseas locales to the ticklement of foreign-born action sportsters, the X-Games chickens shall come home to roost in the U.S., just as the world’s largest economy writhes in the throes of a national budgetary impasse and considers chicken-counting of a different sort altogether.

“[T]he overall economics of these events do not provide a sustainable future path,” ESPN said in a statement.

X-Games’ 18-month sojourn abroad, cut short by those unyielding mistresses Dollar and Cents, is a cautionary tale that saw certain ESPN officials subtly ringing alarm bells months ago. Internet website Dead Spin.com last April disclosed an ESPN memo regarding the Brazilian event that characterized the international push’s path to financial success as “extremely” difficult, employing language designed to resonate with network loyalists who brought the world the first ever YOLO flip on a snowboard, Gymkhana GRID and a previous 50-Cent concert.

As per the alleged memo:
Hourly folks – don’t push the OT. If it’s 9:10, take the 9:00 out – don’t push for 9:30. Heck, maybe you’d like to actually contribute an hour or two of your OT to the cause and take a 7:00 out. Trust me – no one’s going to the bank on this one. If this idea appeals to anyone, we can start an honorary wall of contributors in the office.

Were the international X-Games sunk due to the freewheeling and spendthrift ways of folks unable to look beyond the next hour of OT? Did revenues, already under pressure as Brazil succumbs to the twin maladies of soccer and Olympic fever, dribble away like so many bottles of water stuffed into worksite-bound backpacks? Will a failure to raise the U.S. debt ceiling and subsequent dents to the American sovereign credit rating further crunch the performance of the remaining domestic X-Games? Would Bastien Salabanzi have “shut it down” at the French stop and potentially replicated the YOLO flip for a skateboard audience?