Ryan Gallant’s Clipper Ledge Transworld Cover Is A Victory For Us All Dudes

gallant.cover

Will landing a magazine cover matter more when mass-marketed US publications dwindle to just one or two print editions? Will they matter less? Kickflip backside noseblunt sliding San Francisco’s Clipper ledge easily qualifies among the gnarlier tricks this year, the past few years, and as a somewhat out-of-nowhere late-career peak for Ryan Gallant, if only because he’s been plying this trade about 15 years now and is not in the ostensible final weeks of filming a supposed Plan B video supposedly.

Ryan Gallant, his sponsors and Transworld itself all have clear reasons to rejoice this month. Below we shall examine several other obvious and less-obvious beneficiaries of Ryan Gallant’s trick, which is one for the history books:

East coasters laid heads to pillows after seeing this magazine cover knowing that another page in a West Coast spot’s history was writ upon by a New Englander’s briny fist.

Aging professionals are reminded that, as Jamie Thomas demonstrated in last year’s “Cold War,” exercise and proper diet have gone a long way toward extending the pro lifespan from the early-20s retirement age of a quarter-century ago, and benchmarkable feats are well within grasp provided you posess mastery of backside noseblunts and other similarly forceful tricks such as backside 180 switch frontside crooked grinds, as Ryan Gallant has proven able.

Goofy footers now can sit back in a leisurely manner as the onus shifts to regular footed pros and certain other would-be players to attempt a switch version, or do it frontside.

Gary Gygax, creator of Dungeons and Dragons, will benefit because Ryan Gallant’s trick will encourage people to reach for hidden strengths within themselves, a living tribute to Gary Gygax.

Windmill propellers may find to go for another spin or two, modeling their movements on Ryan Gallant’s board and generating clean and renewable energy for residential houses and however many wafflemakers they contain.

Street League contestants will watch for opportunities to climb in the rankings in the form of tiny, tiny teardrops gathering in Nyjah Huston’s eyes, as he imagines other famous hubbas that he may one day kickflip backside noseblunt.

Stevie Williams could be rubbing his hands together in glee at the prospect of collecting this clip for the pending Gold Goons production, said to feature the cast of the Nintendo game Goons and Goblins and several heavy ingots of gold ore.

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4 Responses to “Ryan Gallant’s Clipper Ledge Transworld Cover Is A Victory For Us All Dudes”

  1. Chew Says:

    I’ll be affiliating myself with your first and fourth points, respectively, as I am both a New England-er and a fan of D&D.

  2. Matt Minton Says:

    Let’s not forget that Thrasher is just like any other Monopoly….a bummer.

  3. mdspb Says:

    Thank you for Gygax-ing

  4. Summertime Mixtape Vol. 3 – Ryan Gallant ‘First Love’ | boil the ocean Says:

    […] Decades in the future when municipalities join heated combats for economic scavengings, the low-bid winner for the shove-it hall of fame may dedicate TIF funds toward a bronzed likeness of Ryan Gallant, whose ‘Fulfill the Dream’ music-supervised video part from a too-often overlooked entry in the TWS cinema pantheon functions as a clinic on rotating the board into a stupefying range of blocks, rails, hubbas and other what-have-yous. Ryan Gallant has flip tricks like the 90s and the knowhow to execute in squeaky-clean terms shit like the pop-shove it frontside k-grind and the hardflip late 180, and enough youthful spring to shoot from way downtown and look like he bounces into the full cab almost by accident going down the hallway. It’s wild how in 2005, before TWS abandoned and then inevitably re-embraced the voiceover intro, Ryan Gallant spoke of appearing long-in-the-tooth for the boarding life — a decade later there’s still gas in the tank. […]

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