Posts Tagged ‘Expedition One’

The Ballad Of The Expedition One Sticker From 2014

November 20, 2022

Oh say, oh say-ho!

Buried at the bottom of the shoebox again
Don’t try and ask me just how long it’s been
Sometimes we’re rifled through
Now and then they’ll take a few
But I stay, ‘cuz I’m just an Expedition One sticker from 2014.

Never been peeled and pressed onto a board
Nor slapped on a sign or a hand-me-down Ford
I’ve still got my backing
And newer stickers keep stacking
On me, a never-used Expedition One sticker from 2014.

Oh say, oh say-ho!

A stick in each hand as I bang, drum and pound
A song none will hear, a rhythm making no sound
I’ll play day and night
Just don’t ask me why
No answers for an Expedition One sticker from 2014.

What’s got a head but no hope or dream?
What’s got a mouth, but no words to sing?
If you said a bottle you’re right
I’ll be here all night
No one needs an Expedition One sticker from 2014.

Oh say, oh say-ho!

Can’t tell you for sure where things seemed to go wrong
Old heads, old graphics mostly done when I came along
Flannels, fishing and beer
Prebookers weren’t trying to hear
Or me, an Expedition One sticker from 2014.

DGK, Gold and Organika, we were slipped in a pack
A little promo for the kids, try and build the hype back
For months, years I wait
To be forgotten, my fate
The unlived life of an Expedition One sticker from 2014.

Oh say, oh say-ho!

Kelly Hart speaks to thousands, but no words for me
Palace remakes Welsh’s board (but it ain’t EXP)
Kenny Hoyle’s a legend
‘Alone’ is remembered
but not I, an Expedition One sticker from 2014.

Heard there’s a land where old stickers are loved
Good condition fetches bids 20 bucks or above
Not for me though
Not yet ten years old
See, I’m just a beer-shaped, drum-playing, lonely old Expedition One sticker from 2014.

Oh say, oh say-ho!

Ryan Gallant’s Clipper Ledge Transworld Cover Is A Victory For Us All Dudes

September 25, 2014


Will landing a magazine cover matter more when mass-marketed US publications dwindle to just one or two print editions? Will they matter less? Kickflip backside noseblunt sliding San Francisco’s Clipper ledge easily qualifies among the gnarlier tricks this year, the past few years, and as a somewhat out-of-nowhere late-career peak for Ryan Gallant, if only because he’s been plying this trade about 15 years now and is not in the ostensible final weeks of filming a supposed Plan B video supposedly.

Ryan Gallant, his sponsors and Transworld itself all have clear reasons to rejoice this month. Below we shall examine several other obvious and less-obvious beneficiaries of Ryan Gallant’s trick, which is one for the history books:

East coasters laid heads to pillows after seeing this magazine cover knowing that another page in a West Coast spot’s history was writ upon by a New Englander’s briny fist.

Aging professionals are reminded that, as Jamie Thomas demonstrated in last year’s “Cold War,” exercise and proper diet have gone a long way toward extending the pro lifespan from the early-20s retirement age of a quarter-century ago, and benchmarkable feats are well within grasp provided you posess mastery of backside noseblunts and other similarly forceful tricks such as backside 180 switch frontside crooked grinds, as Ryan Gallant has proven able.

Goofy footers now can sit back in a leisurely manner as the onus shifts to regular footed pros and certain other would-be players to attempt a switch version, or do it frontside.

Gary Gygax, creator of Dungeons and Dragons, will benefit because Ryan Gallant’s trick will encourage people to reach for hidden strengths within themselves, a living tribute to Gary Gygax.

Windmill propellers may find to go for another spin or two, modeling their movements on Ryan Gallant’s board and generating clean and renewable energy for residential houses and however many wafflemakers they contain.

Street League contestants will watch for opportunities to climb in the rankings in the form of tiny, tiny teardrops gathering in Nyjah Huston’s eyes, as he imagines other famous hubbas that he may one day kickflip backside noseblunt.

Stevie Williams could be rubbing his hands together in glee at the prospect of collecting this clip for the pending Gold Goons production, said to feature the cast of the Nintendo game Goons and Goblins and several heavy ingots of gold ore.

7. Tom Remillard – ‘Perpetual Motion’

December 24, 2013

This technically wasn’t a one-spot video section in the sense of Chet Childress’ ‘God Save the Label’ or Haslam and Daewon’s ‘Cheese & Crackers,’ but Tom Remillard wrung enough mileage out of the curvacious Washington Street that the whole section could’ve been there and still been good. Give Tom Remillard points for his stabs at some rails but in a time when everybody skates everything it’s cool to see a dude make his style of skating work for him as much a possible, like on the wallride ollie-out or the vertical b/s powerslide wall-wiper thing. All the over-vert slashing and ditch pillaging here skews closer to the Thrasher brand but Transworld’s production values arguably do a better job maximizing this type of skating, up to and including the slo-mos.