Posts Tagged ‘The Knights Who Say Née’

Red Bull GmbH Made The New Transworld Video So American Media Inc. Didn’t Have To

December 7, 2019

Here he is, teeth beared on the cover, Mark Wahlberg, née Marky of the Funky Bunch, sliding now into your brick-n-mortar mailbox with offers. Those biceps, and how to get them. He knows the names of 101 lust-worthy gifts and where they can be bought. LSD, and how it can cure depression. Strong and rich, yet Mark Wahlberg soon will disappear to make way for next month’s displacer, usurper of children’s dreams, as the Transworld subscription that once was runs its course beneath these dominant males’ steely, practiced gaze. So it goes.

Elsewhere, the TWS spirit remains carried forward, if under different corporate stewardship and alternate projects. While www.skateboarding.com continues to redirect toward the remaining staff’s video efforts and daily aggregations, Austrian beverage conglomerate Red Bull GmbH this week effectively released the new Transworld video. Recognizing a gaping hole once filled on an annual basis with slickly produced full-lengths staffed by pro-level grab bags, Red Bull’s ‘You Good?’ release proffers a 2019-friendly runtime while rejecting most current video conventions to throw back toward Transworld’s ’00s video heyday: A trip hop-powered opening montage, copious amounts of slow-mo, ‘retro film effects,’ a title you may well find yourself hollering to your own bros.

With ‘You Good?,’ Red Bull’s dark men seem comfortable flexing in ways accessible to soda manufacturers but not many others in the enthusiastic yet money-poor realm that is skateboarding in 2019. Pristine spots are ripped across multiple hemispheres by power pros, at all times uniformed in Red Bull-logoed headwears, at times leisurely guzzling from the famed skinny cans — as you do. Husky Rick-flipper Jamie Foy hauls a 5-0 grind over the back and down a kinked rail, and gaps out to a ferocious frontside bluntslide, before tagging in Zion Wright for a long-spun cab over a Barcelona bannister and an immaculate frontside 180 to backside nosegrind down a different one — in this video, he is the lone Red Buller to (briefly) go hatless via a boosted McTwist. ‘Bust or Bail’ loud-armer Alex Midler exhibits his uncanny ability to take awful slams and go up against Jamie Foy for pointer grind distance, and his nailbiting ender builds on Silas Baxter Neal’s own TWS-closer from six years back.

Powered by caffeine and the courage of a cartoon ox with nothing left to lose, Red Bull wraps its carbonated hooves around a moment that would seem to favor the TWS video-making model of old. Adulting and wellness trends, the thrill of the SOTY chase and battery-powered massage pistols now make it possible and even obligatory for yung’n’hungry pros to record multiple video parts in the course of a calendar year. This has helped to fuel the full-length video resurgence as one-off parts quickly pile up and tumble down the timeline, while all the good one- or two-word names get used up. Look no further than the criminal burying of Chris Colbourn’s inexplicably severed ‘Peace’ part earlier this year, shoveled off into the ether last January, which one could imagine closing a Transworld-style vid in years past.

Should Red Bull go ahead and expand their print media empire beyond its Red Bulletin title by acquiring Transworld from American Media Inc.? By requiring teamriders to wear branded hats — an optional fashion accessory — in every clip, is Red Bull subliminally flexing on makers of shoes — which pretty much always must be worn unless you’re Jamie Thomas or Bob Burnquist? Could headwear-compulsory Red Bull sponsorships simultaneously preserve both the finances and vanity of prematurely balding pros?

Lil Wayne’s Poseur Card Revoked on Podcast Testimonialism

January 14, 2017

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Most people enjoy being the dominant life form in whatever room, building or landscape they may occupy. Cactuses, sperm whales and the common housefly all stand meekishly in the shadow of humankind’s achievements, which include mastering fire, developing the multibillion dollar telecom industry, and the Garfield coffee mug franchise. Even the largest and most ornate beaver dams and termite mounds are a joke compared to man’s buildings which literally tower over other species, often dominating them in their own habitats.

In recent decades skateboarders similarly have differentiated themselves from other members of their species, displaying a capability to navigate backyard transitions and flip boards underfoot, at first in a stationary freestyle way, and later while maintaining respectable speeds. Possessed of a tribal instinct forged in the flamey fires of societal rejection, skateboarders identified themselves with lopsided haircuts, freeform denim and flat-soled suede sneakers, snarling at pretenders trying to cop the look without paying dues in parking-lot hours and spilled blood.

Does the poseur, which once jockeyed with jocks and security guards for archvillain status, conceptually survive in this brave year of the rooster, 2017? Fattened on mall money and transfixed by sly winks from extreme-intrigued ingenues, collective guards have fallen away. Advice on appropriating skate stylings have become common enough that Jake Phelp’s occasional grouchy grumping over Thrasher tee-sporting celebrities is seen as increasingly quaint.

Now comes Lil Wayne, née Dwayne Carter, Cash Money Records’ Danny Way, an industry-reared wonder boy possessed of once-in-a-generation talents, later estranged from early benefactors and in later years, outpaced by onetime proteges. In his post-platinum era wanderings, which also has included guitar solos and bowling, Lil Wayne picked up skateboarding, following earlier lines drawn by Pharrell ‘Skateboard P’ Williams and Lupe Fiasco. Eagerly written off after publicly declaring his dedication, Lil Wayne somehow stuck with it, living down ill-considered proclamations of prowess and conceiving the obligatory terrible clothes company. Along the way the ‘A Milli’ author earned love from actual skateboarders the old-fashioned way*:

Conor Champion: “He’s a little kid that just started skating in a grown millionaire’s body. Out of everything he could be doing with his free time, he’s choosing to be at the skatepark with us at three in the morning. You have to realize he could be doing literally anything in the world at that moment.”

Now, as far as wiling away hours at the park as a barometer of love for skating, many 10-year-olds measure up. Investing more than half a decade and then shaking off a droughty croak to muse for an hour over truck heights, the tradeoffs of filming in parks, getting kicked out of parks, lighting up spots with Iphones and hanging out behind restaurants to skate a bank-to-wall at 4:00 in the morning — that’s a horse of a different color, unsaddled by celebrity dilettantes and fair-weather penny cruiser pilots outfitted by 401(k)-toting stylists loathe to shovel the manure of bailed kickflips and gashed faces. With a profane pithiness suited to the penman responsible for one of rap music’s greatest verses, Lil Wayne justified himself last month on Chris Roberts’ ‘Nine Club’ podcast:

Lil Wayne: “I hate to use the word perfect but I’m the perfect guy to explain it. I’ve experienced a lot of great fuckin feelings. I’ve seen checks with a lot of zeroes on them bitches, with my name. I’ve experienced a lot of wonderful… moments with women. I’m talking about fucking her while her movie’s on in the background. With your music on the radio. I’ve opened a lot of great doors, I’ve seen a bunch of smiles on a bunch of faces…. I swear I don’t know if there’s a feeling that comes close to landing on them four wheels.”

Will Baby try and put the kibosh on Lil Wayne releasing a video part while still under a CMB contract? Does employing a housekeeper for one’s private skatepark and also a co-located bowling alley qualify Lil Wayne as ‘upriver’ on Jason Dill’s famed skate-scale or does it require a different benchmark altogether, like maybe the Russian deeps of Lake Baikal? Was all of this foretold after Ty Evans placed Mannie Fresh music into ‘Fully Flared’ for Lucas Puig, JB Gillet and JJ Rousseau, a music supervision masterstroke that may also have absolved Ty Evans of any number of indie-rock missteps over the years?

*Not like that, you pervert