Posts Tagged ‘the untimely murder of R.K. Maroon’

A different world

August 18, 2008


Now this here is retarded, fucked up and just plain goddamn silly on multiple levels. First off, let’s bear in mind our fedora hierarchy: Dick Tracy, Eddie Valiant, Dune, rail-thin douchebags who also own Chuck Taylors, everybody else. If they’re giving Greg Lutzka, who by all accounts is dumb as a sack of publicly educated doorknobs, a pro model fedora, they may as well give Fred Gall a damn space helmet.

Second, this corporate car-crash of a ménage à trois collabo is pretty presumptuous. I mean would this type of shit fly in GQ? (I ask because I don’t read GQ because when I’ve attempted to purchase an issue myself the gentleman at the newstand just looks at my threadbare garments and shakes his head in a depressed and weary manner.) One would have to assume that Daewon & co. are counting the days til Plan B takes the Lutz off their hands. Also: “frogskin” hat? Somebody get Mr. Burns on the line.

Now, I haven’t seen the board and sunglasses that presumably accompany this hat, but do you really need to? If you saw somebody with the whole kit at the local modular hockey-rink skatepark, it’s probably a safe bet that the person cannot 1. kickflip, 2. ollie, 3. drive (well), and 4. properly manage his/her finances, so keep your eyes peeled and remember those sales pitches for Brooklyn-located bridges, people.