Posts Tagged ‘those sticks that hippies like to bounce around with ot’

The WASPafarian’s dilemma

June 3, 2008

“Jah bless, bros”

So the news came out yesterday that longtime Element posterchild Tosh Townend has been relieved of his duties as head dread in charge over at the shareholder-friendly skate company for suburban tweenage hippies. Much is already being made of the fact that Tosh was an early adopter of the Element “package”—consolidating clothing, shoe, board, wheel, and whatever other sponsorships under one roof that almost certainly would never fall in on you. Right? But like many environmentally themed construction projects, Tosh’s Elemental Odyssey suffered from a fatal design flaw, possibly related to the enduring presence of Mike V. Glass houses and stones, etc.

You could feel sorry for Tosh. I might, if he weren’t the biological heir to a surfing dynasty, pulling pro shoe money since he was 18, and seemingly not slowed by major surgeries. Me, I feel worse for Element. Because like many parents, the honchos of ElementBillabongCoIntlGroup seem to have got out of bed one day, looked at the bedraggled and odorous dreadlocked mess snoring on the couch, and decided enough was enough. Like any parent of a carefree hippie who’s left one too many roaches between the sofa cushions, Element had to take a deep breath, throw the front door open and tell the boy they’d raised to get the hell out and get a job.*

I expect that Tosh will spend the next few days blearily blinking his reddened eyes, smoking a sympathy bowl or two with his fellow rude boys, possibly cursing the name of Johnny Schillereff and pondering a return to Zion. But he’s long overdue for starting his own shit. He was a big force behind the Sin Habits crew/video, which gave way to something called the Weenabago Projekt, where—get this—a white guy with dreadlocks is gonna drive across the country in a retro bus with all his best bros. Crazy idea, right?

Anyway the point is young Tosh (still only 23, which kind of bugs me out) has his own crew, he’s been doing his own projects for a while, and he’s got a cozy relationship with the High Grade distribution camp. So if the hobbit’s leaf gets the better of him he can probably crash on Creation’s couch for a while. One love, Tosh.

*For what it’s worth, the financial markets seem to have taken this as moderately good news.